If it seems that money is here today and gone tomorrow, you might wonder why you’re relationship with money is so short-lived. Financial one-night stands fails to satisfy you for long. After the novelty wears off of whatever you bought, you’re left feeling “meh.” You go back out there and work hard to make more money, only to spend it again on something that gives you a quick hit of dopamine and leaves you longing for more shortly thereafter.

Once this cycle of money coming and going so quickly gets old, you start to wonder how you can build a more long-lasting relationship with money. Indeed it is more satisfying! In this video, you’ll understand what you’re doing that drives money away and how to get it to stick around longer. No more financial flings. Enjoy a new and meaningful relationship with money.

TRANSCRIPT:

Money doesn’t care about getting flowers or chocolate but it does want to be seen, appreciated, and cared for like your romantic partner, and really like anybody else in your life.

Here’s the thing that most people don’t understand about money, it sticks around or runs away based on how you treat it, much the same way people stick around or take off, based on how you interact with them. People are energy and money is energy, so on some level, it’s no surprise that they behave similarly. You need to treat them both well if you want them to stick around and be in your life.

Chocolate and flowers are gifts that show you thought about someone and want to show them you care. Money appreciates gestures that show you thought about it and that you care. So if you find that your money is here today but gone tomorrow, over and over again, then maybe it’s time to look at how you’ve been handling your money.

Most people are quick to say that they don’t treat money badly. They’re not out there being crazy spenders just blowing it all on big fancy purchases. Okay, that’s great, but that’s a little like saying, “I don’t treat people badly, it’s not like I’m mean or abusive, so I expect them to be there for me.” Not treating people or money badly is a good place to start, but it’s not enough to create a bond that keeps them in your life.

Just because you’re not mean or abusive to people doesn’t mean that they’re going to stay in your life. Hopefully their standards are higher than that. Money has high standards. You can’t just not be terrible to it.  You also can’t be neglectful and thoughtless.

And this is where it starts to go downhill for most people and their relationship with money. People are not deliberately treating their money badly, it’s that they’re not thinking very much about their money. Many people would say that they think about money all the time, it’s a constant stressor, even though they’re bringing in a good income.

But are you thinking about it from the perspective of money taking care of you or do you think about it in terms of how you can take care of it?  Do you think that what you currently have isn’t enough or are you worried about tending to your money enough? It’s the classic case of someone who expects their friend to be there for them but not they’re there for the friend. So if you do spend time thinking about money, are you thinking about it in the right way – the way of care and concern for it, rather than yourself.

And plenty of people don’t think about money at all, and intentionally set up their life that way. They want money out of sight and out of mind. And so how would you feel about somebody who was intentionally trying to forget about you, just assume you’ll be there, and automate you away. You probably would not feel that close or connected with them. And your money isn’t feeling connected or cared for when you set up your finances to think about it less.

Now of course there’s a balance, we’re not trying to set up an obsessive, co-dependent relationship where you’re thinking about money all day, every day. That’s not healthy either. Even someone that you love and care about, you’re not thinking of them at every waking moment.

But you are thinking about them frequently. And hopefully you’re wondering whether they are okay, and whether you are being a good, supportive loved one. You’re thinking of ways to take care of them and ways to spend time with them, making plans. They would describe you as thoughtful. Which is the opposite of what you’re doing with your money when you have it on auto-pay. That moves you towards thoughtlessness.

So if it’s now making sense why your relationship money resembles more of a one-night stand than a long-term love, and you want a more healthy and long-lasting relationship with your money, then it’s time to get financially fit. Unlike financial literacy where you just know about financial concepts, financial fitness is where you actually implement financial knowledge into a regular set of simple habits that treats money like a priority in your life.

This is not to say that money will be your top priority, heck it doesn’t have to even crack the top 3, but still, money can be a priority that you take care of so that it can take care of you and true priorities.