Looking back is getting major shade these days.

Of course you want to look forward to the future and go forward in life.

You do not want to feel stuck – in the present or the past.

But does that mean that you should forego looking back into the past?

In this video, I’m going against the grain and encouraging you to look back.

The past contains mistakes and regrets, of course. And these may be painful or uncomfortable to recall.

However, the past is powerful. It can launch you towards the future you want, if you’re willing to learn the lessons from it.

So don’t be afraid to look back.

I’m here if looking back is easier with some support.

TRANSCRIPT:

When did looking backwards become a bad idea?

I’m seeing a lot online that’s encouraging us not to look back at the past and instead just move forward. Okay… I understand that it’s not good to dwell too much or get stuck in the past. Moving forward is a great idea.

But financially speaking, failing to look back deprives us of a lot of the fuel that propels us forward. I’ll explain what I mean by that in a minute.

What really caught my attention about this issue of not looking backwards is when I heard a well-known personal finance guy trash-talking budgets because budgets look backwards. I was already peeved that he was knocking budgeting, but whatever, plenty of finance folks do that. But avoiding budgeting because it makes you look back and takes your focus off of moving forward, strikes me as downright ridiculous.

First of all, the best time to create a budget is in the beginning of the year, and it helps you plan your spending for the rest of the year, so budgeting is actually forward looking. And in fact, budgets don’t make you look backwards. But tracking your spending, to make sure that your spending is on track with your budget, does have you look back at your spending in the previous month.

By figuring out where all your money went last month, you know where you need to hold back on spending in the current month, where you can spend more this month, or where you’re already spending perfectly in alignment with your budget. Looking back is the only way to keep your budget and the financial goals it’s helping you reach, alive and in motion. Otherwise, how would you know that you’re making progress towards your spending and savings goals?

When working with my financial coaching clients, I encourage them to do between 3 and 6 months of tracking before we create their budget. I believe that your budget should be informed by your recent spending habits. Your past behavior gives you insight into your natural spending habits, and it can help guide your future goals.

You do not want to come up with a budget or spending plan, I use the terms interchangeably, that’s so far removed from reality that you set yourself up to fail.

So I do not get why looking back is bad. The vibe I pick up from these posts is that looking backwards is useless or even harmful. Sure, we may have done things and spent money in ways that we’re not happy with but should we really spare ourselves the discomfort of acknowledging these missteps?

By doing that, we’re avoiding the source of our biggest motivation to do things differently – and that’s your feelings. If you feel disappointed, frustrated, or even disgusted with how your money is being spent, you have a ton of fuel to change your ways. It’s just a fact of life that humans primary motivation is to move away from pain. It’s a more powerful force than a desire to move towards pleasure.

So the pain or discomfort that you feel from facing the reality of your old ways will be the single biggest motivating factor to stick with a better plan for your money moving forward. So I think you do yourself a massive disservice by avoiding the potential discomfort you’ll feel by facing the truth that the past gives you.

Eventually your motivation for smart spending can come from your desire to live well and achieve your goals, but unfortunately, this kind of motivation is not powerful enough to break the momentum of doing things the old way. In order to break old habits and create new healthy ones, some kind of pain is usually necessary. Sometimes this is why it’s only when some has reached the proverbial rock bottom that they actually change, when they’ve been wanting to reach certain goals and milestones for a long time.

I wish more people could change course for positive motivational reasons, like improving the quality of their lives, but it’s just not the reality for most people. Pain wakes us up. Pain makes us think differently and feel differently, which is what propels us to behave differently. Do not avoid the potential pain that awaits you from looking back into your past spending.

Look back. Face the truth. Gain insight.

That will give you all the rocket fuel you need to launch you forward on a new trajectory.

Now I completely get this whole thing about intentionally feeling pain is not something that most of us want to do, especially by ourselves. Even if the discomfort is ultimately good for us, we’re afraid of going there. We’re afraid it will be debilitating or that we’’ll get stuck there.

That’s why it’s a good idea to have a financial coach by your side to delve into the past with you. To help you gather the information the past reveals and then hold space you while you process whatever feelings come up. It’s always good to have a supportive person there that can look at the bigger picture, and help provide context and support, to use that discomfort or pain to lift you up, rather than take you down. If your nervous system goes haywire during the exercise, you have someone to help calm you and remind you that you are more than capable of turning things around and living in alignment with your values, not ego.

So as we embark on a new year, be brave and look back before marching forward. Have a good one and I’ll see you in the next video.